On Letting Go

The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off. (Gloria Steinem) So how do we move from pissed off to free? We learn to let go. I think that’s part of it.

We hear this all the time but what does it feel like when we do it? How do we know we are doing it right?

And to be clear, letting go isn’t forgetting or conceding. What is unjust is still unjust. What is cruel is still cruel. What confuses, hurts or drains us is still all that. But we can let go of the need to change it, the need to control the actions or emotions of others, or the way they perceive us. We can gather all our energy in creating what we want around us — and that doesn’t mean dragging the negative along until we can “fix it”. We just leave it where it is. Right there on the messy floor and we walk away. We let go.

The messy part and the letting go of trying to fix everything is where I have found myself stuck in the past. I haven’t always easily embraced the messy (am working on it). I/we tend to like predictable. We like to feel in control. So this, too, is what we let go of — the need to know, the need to control what we cannot control.

And we have to let go of letting the parts of ourselves that put up with all this to begin with lead us - that parts of us that didn’t know until now that we deserve so much more; the parts that never felt safe or believed we could be free. We can get to know these parts of ourselves and they can learn they are safe now but they don’t get to drive.

I bring this into my design work, too, in a quite literal sense. Letting go of “stuff” and clutter around us is healing and freeing work in another but very related form. Clutter creates excessive visual stimulation and there is plenty of research on how it is related to anxiety and depression. When you start to step into an organized space, this low level constant stress caused by clutter starts to dissipate and flow increases- things are just easier in a way, and can start to open up for us from there.

Through both personal and professional experiences, I deeply understand how hard letting go can be (of both ideas, behaviors and beliefs and the physical things in our homes and work spaces that we have been holding on to but are not serving us). I know sometimes it’s too overwhelming to sort through things alone - everything seems like something worth keeping (especially if we are dealing with sorting the belongings of a deceased parent or close family member) until we see just how much hanging on to too much around us can actually be hurting us, our kids, our work, our ability to rest deeply and so many of our natural healthy rhythms.

If any of this resonates and you would like to learn more about working together in an organizational capacity, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I would love to help and I know firsthand how much of a difference finally letting go can make.

xo